Professor Bikey Bike's Bike Shop

or those of you out there tired of living in a 'Democracy' whose only relation to the true definition of Democracy is in its name, we offer a Home Democracy Kit.

This kit is extremely minimalist. It contains an abacus and a PBBBS Differentionometer (patent pending).

If you don't know what the abacus is used for, ask Kathleen Harris, she may be able to tell you that you can use it to do fairly complicated mathematics. In this case, we only need it to count.

Deep in the PBBBS Laboratories lies the prototype Differentionometer. Note the extensive use of 'technology'.

The key component of the PBBBS Home Democracy kit lies in the Differentionometer. This (we can quite modestly say) ingenious device can actually quantitatively measure the similarities between candidates! Using complicated procedures this high tech gadget will make the choice process when entering the voting booth easier than ever. By measuring various things the Differentionometer will tell you very basic truths, ranging from small details like a candidates' stance on vital issues like balcony collapse, to major defining traits like ear size. Using this data the Differentionometer, for example, could have told you that we went down the toob long ago.